Let There Be No Countdown, For There Will Be Tears

-I have been done with apps for a long time. I have been accepted to SJSU, SFSU, and denied from SDSU. Chico has waitlisted me but it's okay because I have accepted to go to SFSU! Wooohooo! FAFSA continues to make me correct my information but luckily I did it right this time so I just have to mail in the signature and hopefully everything will be correct this time!
-I would say I'm terrified of college but still beyond excited to start a new chapter in my life and be able to use my life lessons to make myself and the people I meet have a good time. Honestly, the only reason I am scared of college is because I won't have my mom pushing me every minute of the day to do my hw or clean my room and I'm scared that if that stops happening that I will fail in life. My parents are concerned about the money but not really because my sisters still pay for college and are doing find so it helps to have siblings who have already gone through the process and makes my life just a tad easier.
-As I've mentioned before I will be a SF Gator and I will be living on campus. Hopefully my roommate is not a messy girl! Dreading that moment to find out who she is.
-So ready to kick AP Lit Test's butt! So far doing great in the class and being able to see what I need to improve on! Also, I've really been dying to do powderpuff, too! Also, every time someone mentions college and how many days till graduation I die a bit inside. It's seriously starting to hit me that high school will be over in a few months. It's okay though, I'm going to just go with it! ;)

Post 1.0

What do I have to be stressed about right now? Nothing. I am absolutely happy and carefree at this moment. I am accidentally ahead of my AP Lit class, have great friends who make me laugh almost every second, and things at home are actually at peace. Now that I think of it maybe I do have some stress, but I've been putting it off. I'm not really stressed but more worried about how my mom is going to take it when I leave for college. I feel like she is so stuck on to the thought that since her 2 eldest daughters haven't left the womb that her youngest one is definitely not leaving. I don't know how to make her realize that I am leaving. It's stressing me out because she's so stubborn and I know for a fact that she will find any excuse to keep me at home. I'm just so worried that she will change her feelings and thoughts about me as a daughter once I leave. What I've done so far to relieve this stress is spend time with her and remind her that I'm growing up but in a nice way. I think I should be trying to make her somewhat happy about me leaving instead but I'm not sure how to do that. Forget about that sad parts though! I'm so excited for the memories I'm going to create in the following months. Graduation, PROM, senior picnic, PROM, winter formal, PROM, first time in college. It's going to be amazing to make these memories with people who actually want to be in my life which makes it a tad more exciting... okay a lot more exciting. Go with it and make sure to make these memories last. 

Family and Financial Standings

I think for the first time ever my family is financially stable because my sister has a job, my brother has a job that gives us huge discounts at Costco, my dad finally quit drinking in order to keep his job as a manager, and my mom is always working hard. It's been a long time since I've been able to ask my dad for money and not feel bad about it because he has money now. BUT... There is no prefect family and everyone knows that. My parents only cooperate with each other when needed and somewhat get along for the sake of keeping peace at home. It's pretty funny when people ask my mom if she's married and she responds, "No but I have a roommate." My sister, Shayla, and I don't talk to each other due to differences and it's been almost 2 years that we haven't talked to each other even though we share a room together. My eldest sister, Yvette, and I do communicate but we're not best buddies. I feel like the only reason we do talk is because she actually appreciates that I take care of her daughter for her when she's at school or doing homework in her room. My niece is growing up so fast! She is already standing by herself and she knows how to slide down the couch and is already attempting to climb on top but gives up once she's tired. I feel sad whenever I think of her because once I leave for college I feel like she's going to forget me and not recognize me once I leave. I feel like I'm going to lose a huge gap in her life as she's growing up. I'll make sure to visit her often so she remembers me. I'm going to miss her scrambling trying to get to me and crawling as fast as she can while laughing and keeping a smile on her face whenever I get home. Things change but the people in our heart don't. Just go with it... with a smile on your face.

The Exception

Lately I have felt like my opinions about a book in class haven't been appreciated or even bothered to listen to. I would constantly try to get my viewpoint of it out but would continuously get shut down or be told that maybe I should consider other things but it's not my fault people can't see what I see. I would think to myself that maybe I was just too dumb to actually see what others were seeing so that was when I shut myself down and didn't tell anyone what I thought. A few days ago I told about 5 other people what I thought about the book and they were in complete awe and said that I was going deep. I was so shocked because how is it that people now can understand me? I pondered about that for so long. Until I noticed that it was the type of people that could understand me. It was time I had to present my opinion to class and my teacher and peers nodded their heads in agreement as I shared out. It felt so good to know that some, yet enough, people understood me because then I didn't feel dumb. People aren't going to automatically see what you can see because they have different viewpoints, don't try to force them or make yourself see what they see because in the end they will see what they see and you will see what they see. It's like forcing me to eat tomatoes but no matter what I will hate them but then there's ketchup. Some people are going to be ketchup, the exception. Go spread your knowledge, go spread your wisdom, go spread your ideas but always be yourself. Just go with it, man.